I learned a valuable lesson today about rushing things that are important. I've been spending quite a bit of time working on collages lately. Something about cutting out images that match what is on my heart and gluing them to paper is very therapeutic and comforting. I'm hooked.
I'd been working on my latest collage for about a week. I'd spent time here and there picking out images, arranging and rearranging them on the page - trying to get everything just right. Today I woke up with a plan --- not much housework, lots of self-care. I have a busy week coming up and thought a "take it easy" day would be a great way to transition to the hecticness of Monday.
In my rush to get busy relaxing, I felt like I could just "knock out" gluing down my collage pictures and move on. I rushed to my work table and starting gluing --- hurriedly. In my hurry, I messed up the collage. Mind you, none of them will end up in the Louvre but they are art to me - an artistic expression of what is on my mind and my own creative outlet.
I didn't respect my art today. And, I ended up with something that wasn't even close to the original vision. The other collages are a source of pride and enjoyment when I look at them. This latest one - the hurry up and finish it so you can get busy doing other relaxing things - is not in the same category with the others.
It's a mess. I nearly tore it out of my pad and threw it away. After walking away from it and coming back later, I've decided that I'm keeping it. I want a visual reminder of what happens when you rush through things that are important. I want to look at it and consider all of the other important things in my life that I rush through --- that don't end up staring back at me from a page.
My goal was a work of art - what I got instead was a lesson.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Another dry spell on the blogging front. I really need to get over the notion that each post has to be NYT-worthy and just get some thoughts down. With that in mind....
I've spent the last few days at home. It's spring break but with Jim's new job and other uncertainties, I didn't plan a trip for us. Instead we've taken it easy at home, shopped at some new stores and eaten lunch out. Today was a total self-care day: massage this morning, reading outside in the sunshine and a nap this afternoon.
Tomorrow, it's back out into the world. I have mixed emotions about it. On the one hand, I have loved being at home and the self-imposed isolation has been restorative to my soul and well-being. On the other hand, I know that I'm going to start getting bored AND stressed out thinking about all of the work waiting for me at the office. Tomorrow and Friday -- then it's a few more days off. I think it's the perfect way to transition back in.
I did the collage on today's post a week or so ago -- right after I came home from a conference to my husband still unemployed, my house destroyed from one of his home improvement projects and a feeling that I couldn't "take one for the team" any longer. I saw the tall trees and the teeny-tiny little person in the middle of all of it and thought "Perspective". It really spoke to me in a way I couldn't put into words. It's amazing what staring and focusing on the picture has done for me. That and a good cry and some meditation. And a few days off.
I'm still here..... and with a renewed perspective.