Yesterday I ran out of gas. Not with my car but with my ability to juggle everything, do everything, be SuperWoman. And let's just say, it wasn't pretty. After a good night's sleep and a relatively calm day, I am assessing the damage and figuring out how to put the pieces back together. One of my favorite lines from "Anne of Green Gables" is "Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it". I got that today and am incredibly grateful for it.
The last two weeks have been filled almost non-stop with activities: Work deadlines, errands, field hockey games, quick recall matches, an amazing trip to visit friends and the everyday mechanics of being a working wife, mother, friend, daughter and sister. I knew it was too much -- I kept saying it to myself but I didn't do anything to stop it, manage it, control it. Instead, it controlled me. To make things worse, I actually ADDED things to the list. And what do I have to show for it? Exhaustion, embarassment, frustration, tears....
Today I got back on track. I took care of myself. I took care of my family. I took care of my work. And I feel better. I spent time doing the things I wanted to do -- even if it was mopping the kitchen floor and going to the grocery. I spent time in the office and did some good work. I nurtured my creativity --- doing my morning pages (even if it was in the afternoon) and baked some amazing banana muffins. I spent time with my family and really paid attention. I feel better.
I don't think the tank is totally refilled but it has more in it than fumes. And compared to yesterday, that's amazing progress. It was a day with no mistakes in it.