I learned a few lessons over the past week. One - don't go back to work until you really feel better. Two, sometimes thing take time.
I took Monday off and spent it quietly - resting, puttering, cocooning. It had been a difficult start to the day but after overcoming my sense of inertia, a pretty good day. I should have stayed in the cocoon. The rest of the week was ugly -- tiring, frustrating, weepy ugly.
I pushed myself too hard and really didn't listen to my body and mind telling me that I needed more time away. Time to rest. I realize now that I was emotionally and physically exhausted from nearly six weeks of hectic work and home schedules and from dealing with (for me, anyway) a lot of change. In the grand scheme of things, it would be too embarassing to list them out here. I would probably be met with --- "That's it? That's all you've got going on?" And, I admit, it is frustrating when I'm not as strong as I think I should be --- able to juggle it with ease. I've spent the majority of the weekend at home - venturing out only twice since Friday night. I've slept - a lot. And I've tried to get my groove back. I'm starting to feel better - more like myself. Thank goodness.
I'm grateful for having the time and space to just be still. Helen is 13 and pretty self sufficient. She was able to take care of herself when I went to bed at 7:30 one night. She is able to get herself up and at'em with little help from her Mom. Of course, she still needs a ride home from Quick Recall practice..... I'm grateful for a husband who worried about me and gave me lots of TLC this week (if not a lot of help with carpooling). I'm grateful for the self-awareness that comes with age, maturity and experience that can recognize (eventually, anyway....) when it is time to stop, put the brakes on. And I'm grateful that I've learned a valuable lesson, sometimes it takes more time than you think.